Torn by you

I am torn. My heart is torn. My mind is torn. I like you a lot. Or I think I do. We used to talk personals and now we just talk often. I can't tell if that is a good sign or a bad one. You left and now it hurt that your are not just a phone call away. I have to wait for you to respond to my messages and that hurts. I think that's a good thing. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. There is something I find in you that comforts me. I want to be close to you now. When I first met you, your confidence in wanting me scared me away, but I can see now that I shouldn't be scared. Not of you. Yet you still scare me. After I got to know you, I realized how good you are for me. You fit what I want so well. I want to see if you and I can keep going and go the distance. I am done playing games and I am done with others just messing with my heart. Your heart is good and your mind is dirty. There is something about you that draws me closer. After you left, it hit me harder then I could ever expect. Nothing traumatizing by any means, but enough to make me cry. You were the first guy to make me cry because I missed you not because you hurt me. Sometimes, I feel like I am telling you this too late and you are forgot that original connection. But something in me tells me I need to still try. Try for you to try for me still. I'm far but I'm not gone. I am at a turning point in my road where this can determine what bend in the road I choose. So if you ever read this, please let me know, am I too late? Or was I always too late?