The Mirror made simple.

Have you looked in the mirror today? Chances are you have. What did you see in the mirror? Yourself I would assume, but what else? Anything? Was it just you? Was really you?

When we look in the mirror, we hardly ever take the time, if any, to look at the person who looks back at us. We can see what it is on the outside that everyone else can see, but rarely look past that. Next time you look in the mirror, I want you to take the time to look past the reflection, and go deep into the eyes, heart, and soul. Find out who is it that you see everyday looking back at you. You be thinking this is ridiculous, I already know who I am. But do we really have a clue to who we really are until our life is over? Things in life change everyday. Whether it is a new job, meeting new people, etc. Look at how you got to where you are today. Why do you do the things you do? Were you influenced by others to act the way you do, the way you look, or even the way you talk? We all pick up habits from others if we see it or not. You can look at a close group of friends and see similar character tendencies between each of them. They tend to talk the same, wear the same clothes, and enjoy the same things. But have we ever thought of how we get to that point. We didn't always talk in slang, wear that style or listen to similar music. We all change. This is why we need to take the time to look in the mirror. DO not just look at the reflection but go deeper. Look at your hair, your clothes. What does that all mean to you. Go beyond that now and understand what makes you tick. Do you put on the clothes you do because of others or your own personal pleasure. What is it that makes you keeping going from day to. Why can you walk down the street everyday and be you (if you are even being you). Yes, it is possible to live everyday and not be yourself. We have all put on some sort of front at a point in our lives. Some people live everyday for others and some don't even know how to live the day for themselves. It is OK to be selfish every once in a while and take you time. The time you get to be you and only you. You do nothing for any one's pleasure, it doesn't matter how you look or even talk. Just be yourself. You should do something you love. Something that will make you wake up the next morning and be grateful that you are blessed with a new day. Take time to find out who you really are and why you can call yourself "me".

I was talking to my roommate recently and we discussed life. Our main point of the conversation was about how girls seemed reliant to find the man of their dreams today. The group of girls I am referring to are young college aged women who have their who life ahead of them still. Why are they set on finding that perfect guy now? Is who we are determined by who we have at our side? I hear all the time "why is he with her?" sort of remarks. Does it really matter why he is with her? A lot of times I hear it in context of jealousy, which makes perfect sense, but I also hear it from people sitting around a table when we are out to dinner about someone across the room. What makes the human mind so quick to judge? We are all guilty of it. Vanity emphasised in the media, fashion, personalities of the girls scripted on TV. It is everywhere. We are bred to be vain. It is the American way of life and the world can see it, but that does not bother us.

The image of "self" has been demolished through modern ideals and imperfections. Who are you really. GO, find yourself. you are inside somewhere and don't be afraid of who you are are what people think of the real you. There will always be someone there to be your mirror. Just don't let what others want you to be, to become your reflection. The world gets boring when everyone conforms. Be the one that is different, be you.

There are at least two kinds of cowards. One kind always lives with himself, afraid to face the world. The other kind lives with the world, afraid to face himself. ~Roscoe Snowden

A little something I like to call impulse anger...

A boy just told me I shouldnt have fallen for him because he didn't want to break my heart. He was so concerned about not wanted to break my heart that all I could do was laugh. I thought he might listened when we talked many times before but I guess he just didn't hear me. I have nothing left to break. I had to stop him on our walk and look him in the eyes and tell him to stop worry about breaking my heart because I have a wall there that not many people can really get through. He thought he got through that wall! Really?! yes I liked him but there are many other aspects of the relationship we had that did not give him the right to assume he could break through that layer. I am done with every thing they have to offer. They dont deserve any of it. any of me anything that I might have that they might think they want. They wont get any of it! twenty years of almost good enough is bull shit! I hear things like 'wow i cant believe you are still single.' 'you are a great person but I just cant.' or the best one thus far...'you are great and we have something amazing betweeen us, but I would rather date a girl i work with.' WHAT!!!!? really? I am done and over all of them! they are worth nothing and do no good for anything. They are all the same. Power hungry, pigs who dont know how to use the head on their shoulders for anything decent. It is all just a waste of space, time, money, energy and a life. there is no point. All they do is ruin lives! plain and simple!

A few days later-
So I decided to edit this blog and add an extra commentary as a reflection emotions and impluse feels that many of us tend to have. More than likely, in a situation of stress, anger, sorrow, ect. we tend to act on impulse feelings rather than taking the extra second to realize what we are about to get ourselves into. What I published above was just that. I had so much built up in me that I didnt take time to think about what I ws really writting. I am clearly not going to give up on love or men. They are an essensial to many great things in the world, like family and protection. There are times where I feel, yes, they are ass holes, but girls are also bitches too, so it all works out in the end. If we take time to put things into perspective, things would go a lot smoother and there would be less pain in the end. And this isn't just talking about love, it is all decisions in general.
I took the time last night to talk to this other that he is trying to get to know as well and realized that she is a pretty decent girl. I dont know her well enough to rant and rave but she seems like a nice girl. I dont blame him for being attracted to her because she does have a well rounded personality. I am happy if he is happy with his what he chose. I just needed an answer and the answer I got was not what I was hoping for, so it took be back. I am just happy and greatful now that someone finally gave me a straight up no, rather than trying to beat around the bush. It helps a lot to know where a person stands, and this boy and I are still very close. Nothing has really changed. It is an odd situation but it works for me some how. One of my best friends told me to never give up on him, and I dont know if i will. I will always be happy to be his friend. If it never get to be more than that, then that is just fine with me.
We should always learn something from someone and from him, I found a place in my heart that I know what I really want now. Our little discution opened my eyes to what I have been looking for and what is really out there that will make me truly happy. I found the fantacy and it didnt work out. Now it is time to move forward and find reality in true love and happiness. It may not be perfect along the way, but I will take the gifts given to me along the way. I have so much more in life I want to do for myself and with others. There is no need to dwell on the past, it cannot be changed. Look to the future because that is where the answers lie.