I always say to never regret any thing you do. I am about to be a hypocrite. Two years ago, I was a freshman in college and just wanted to be free. I did the college thing and just had fun, flirted and took no time to see some of the best things I had in front of me. There is one person I regret the most not noticing. I am not going to mention a name because its not the name that counts but the extreme regret that I have every time I think about him. I just saw him and felt that I needed to step aside and write to you all and hope you never make the mistake that I did.
When I first got to the doors, he was one of two people that moved in early like myself. He was wearing a red baseball hat, blur t-shirt and jeans. It is nothing special but I remembre going to introduce myself and just being taken back by him. I dont know why it did not stick that year. Off and on I would want to spend every second with him and other times I could not stand to think that I liked him. He was a great guy and I could not bear to hurt him. I dont ever have luck with guys and I knew if i let us go anywhere I would hurt him. Well, either way, I hurt him. He told me that. That was one of the hardest things for me to ever hear. My heart dropped and I couldnt think of anythignto say and he walked away. I should have said something. Anything. Im sorry would be better then just standing there. Towards the end of the year we started to split ways and not talk. It was something comfortable at the time my chest hurts now to even think of how much of an idiot I was.
Last year, I saw him and we decided to try and hang out. We saw each other a few times and in this short time, I had the best kiss of my life. I was over a year of emotions built up into a few minutes. I will never forget the kiss. It is a simple act but when done right, it is beyond powerful. After that we both got busy and split ways again. I was left with more than the last time but now I have even more regret built up within that everytime is see him I just feel like crying. I want to fall at his feet and beg for his forgiveness but would be taken as a fool. I could just talk to him again but I have tried, but have not had much result. I dont know what to do, but he has a piece of me that I dont know how to get back. Not love but a connection within myself that connects me to him that I cannot turn off and give to someone else. I regret everything that I never let myself accept. I regret not opening my eyes to something beautiful. I could have had what I have been looking for my entire life and still am now that I let it go.
I want you all to give it a chance. If you have any chance at all, even if you dont think it will work out, just take it. It could be a dream come true. If you let that person walk away you could have let your dreams walk away too. To all the girls that read- Dont be affraid of getting hurt. It hurts more to know that you could be happy and let that happiness walk away then to have something great then lose it. To the guys that read this- dont give up on us. We neve kow what we want till its gone. Its a complicated system but trust me, if it is ment to be it will happen in due time. I might not end up with my prince charming but I just wish I gave him a chance. His the one who makes me a hypocrite but I am learning: you never know what is ment to be until you give it a chance.....
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Like a Bird.
One day I just want to be able to fly away. Leave and go where ever I please with nothing but the wind at my tail. I want to soar high above the world and look down upon the little things. I could see the top of every mountain, soar through every cloud, graze the surface of every ocean and at the end of the day, still be free. Free from all the chaos. Free from what the life on earth brings every day. One day I am going to fly. I will be a bird and spread my wings. I will chose to run from everything but be scared of nothing. I can reach the end of the sky and fall free to the ground. I want to roam and be free. Free is something we don't really have any more. We are never truly free from anything. We all have strings that tie us down. They are sometimes people, sometimes jobs, always rules and never any fun. We have to stay in the lines and do what is told of us. We can try to run but everything stops us. If I could have the wind at my back and nothing in the world to tie me down, I would be gone. I want to travel the world, but the strings are money. I want to roam free, but boundaries tie me down. I love my strings that tie me to family and friends, but sometimes they just pull too hard and I can no longer breathe. I want my place that I call home to be only where I land. Home, the hold on my feet keeping me to the ground. If I were a bird, the world would be great. I could be shot out of the sky; at least I would die free and happy, doing what I love. Love, the ultimate bond to earth. It keeps people grounded beyond imagination. Love will bury your soul in the furthest depth of the earth. No strings are needed because love is so strong, you can not come out to breathe. Is Love what we want to keep us on the ground or is it what we find because we are too scared to fly away and be free? Can you really live alone and be happy? Or do you have to bury yourself in the ground for love to find security. Why is it that we look so hard and deep for a single emotion? Can we love and be free? Is that something achievable?
I know we can never fly away and we can never be truly free, but if you follow your own heart you will be as close as you can ever be. Do what your heart longs to do. Do not follow someone who is going to hold your heart in a jar, tied down with strings. If you want to love, then love, but only give your love to the one who will give just as much in return. If you want to fly solo, then fly solo. Do not let the little things keep you grounded, for in the end, they will be the things that destroy you. Explore. Alone or together, get out and see the tiny world. It is not as large as we imagine, yet there is so much that people never see. They are kept in the egg in which they were conceived. They still have yet to hatch and many of us die before we can truly break the shell open. Break your shell. See the light which life has to offer and roam.
If you do anything in life, do it for your freedom. Be free of all strings that tie you down. Follow the path that will lead you to an open field of endless imagination. Be a bird today. Soar. See the little things. Dream. It will show you where your journey can lead you. Act. Do what you want to do and enjoy what you do. Live. If you do anything, the least you could do is live for yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Break the strings of the puppet master and live, act, dream, soar, and explore. You, too, can be a bird today. Why wait?
I know we can never fly away and we can never be truly free, but if you follow your own heart you will be as close as you can ever be. Do what your heart longs to do. Do not follow someone who is going to hold your heart in a jar, tied down with strings. If you want to love, then love, but only give your love to the one who will give just as much in return. If you want to fly solo, then fly solo. Do not let the little things keep you grounded, for in the end, they will be the things that destroy you. Explore. Alone or together, get out and see the tiny world. It is not as large as we imagine, yet there is so much that people never see. They are kept in the egg in which they were conceived. They still have yet to hatch and many of us die before we can truly break the shell open. Break your shell. See the light which life has to offer and roam.
If you do anything in life, do it for your freedom. Be free of all strings that tie you down. Follow the path that will lead you to an open field of endless imagination. Be a bird today. Soar. See the little things. Dream. It will show you where your journey can lead you. Act. Do what you want to do and enjoy what you do. Live. If you do anything, the least you could do is live for yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Break the strings of the puppet master and live, act, dream, soar, and explore. You, too, can be a bird today. Why wait?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
"Some People's Children"
This blog entry is inspired by some recent news of a close family friend of mine. Their eldest child had their phone stolen at school. The cop at the school along with videos cameras around the school leads the authorities to one student but doesn't have enough evidence to convict them. A comment I heard about this report was "Some people's children". Isn't that the truth!? I hear that a lot now a days and always wonder, what goes through these parents head to think that it is acceptable for their children to act like that? It was never OK, is not OK now and should never be justified as OK. I'm not only talking about stealing but poor behavior in general. There is a lack of quality parenting in our society, and needs to change before we have more children growing up thinking it is permitable to steal, cheat, be violent, and execute other behaviors that are corrupting the children of following generations. My generation could have engaged enough in this demeanor, too, that creates a direct affect on those to come and those before us. I see people my age who act like five year old who think it is still adequate to conduct this sort of routine, because their parents still treat them like kids and don't have discipline. That is unacceptable in my book.
You might disagree with some parenting skills but some are just needed to raise a child properly. Discipline is the first step. I'm not saying hitting your kid is justifiable, but if they act up, an open hand to the bottom with reasonable force is appropriate. I was spanked plenty in my childhood and trust me, I deserved almost every bit of it. Now I feel like I have learned lessons through disciplined and know when behaviors are welcome and others are not. Stealing, lying or cheating are the the top three I have been taught as inappropriate no matter where or when. Manners are also a prime commodity in my book. If you don't have the common courtesy to say "please" and "thank you", then you don't deserve the reward. I have been reading a book by Ron Clark about classroom management and one of his rules is you must always say please and thank you. I think that is great. If you are given something you must say "thank you" or he would take it away. That teachs the students how to use manners in every situation. Also, you don't get what you ask for until you say please. Its that simple. Three, little, words can make a huge difference and they don't even take five seconds to say. Parents do not teach the simple things any more. What has caused this shift in parenting? There are great parents out there still, but they are scarce. It is great to see a kid that is well behaved, respectful and uses manners. I was walking out of the DMV a few months back and a boy, no older then twleve, held the door for me. I was in such awe that I almost for got to say thank you. I wanted to just stand there and see how long it took to wake up from the dream. It is terrifying to think that such a tiny gesture brought out so much inner emotion. I applaud the family for that young boy for teaching him manners and chivalry. Not beacuse I feel the need to be waited on but it is common curtosy to hold a door open, but is a rare occurance in this day and age. Where have all the children like that gone? When did it become cool to be the jerk and disrespectful?
I have had discussions with several friends about how they were raised. The ones that have a good head on their shoulders and know the rights from the wrong and know what boundaries are, were disciplined. The others, who were merely scolded, they are not aware of reality and life principles. There is a major separation between those who grew up with a highly disciplined family and those who didn't. Neither of which are better than the other if carried out properly. Some people learn rights and wrongs through verbal action, and others need something more tangible to understand.
"Some people's children". What kind of child do you see when that phrase is uttered? Is it your child? Is it someone else's child that you know? Was it you...? OR is it still you? If you answered "yes"to the latter, you would be correct. Not all of us have been raised where every single one of our actions are approved by others. To them we were raised incorrectly, but does that mean we were? Or is there truly a way that is the right and wrong way to parent?
I know I am going back and forth with the idea of proper parenting from my introducton, but like I said, does that mean what I grew up was the right way. For me, yes. Others probably couldn't handle it. I do believe there is a wrong way to parent but there will never be one flawless way of parenting. I must also make a note to those who grew up with multiple parenting styles, as well. These are the children who, first, have parents that do not agree on a parenting style so are torn between the caregivers, or second, parents are divorced and re-married so the step-guardian introduces a new breed of conduct into the household. We are all exposed to different envirnments growing up which creates different perspectives on what we believe to be right and wrong. When you walk around today, look around you. What do you see people doing? What do you see kids doing? What are the parents doing? Reflect on what has brought you to where you are today. Are you the kind of person you want others to see. Are you the rude one or the respectable one? You should be able to look at yourself and say you like who you have become or have been brought up to be. If not then start raising yourself. I had to do some work on myself to be who I am. I make sure I use my manners and know that nothing is always gonig to go my way, so dont expect it or throw a fit if it isnt your way. None of us are perfect and neither are our parents, but it never hurts to try and be the perfect person you want to be.
~The Magic Words will be the start of true bliss!
You might disagree with some parenting skills but some are just needed to raise a child properly. Discipline is the first step. I'm not saying hitting your kid is justifiable, but if they act up, an open hand to the bottom with reasonable force is appropriate. I was spanked plenty in my childhood and trust me, I deserved almost every bit of it. Now I feel like I have learned lessons through disciplined and know when behaviors are welcome and others are not. Stealing, lying or cheating are the the top three I have been taught as inappropriate no matter where or when. Manners are also a prime commodity in my book. If you don't have the common courtesy to say "please" and "thank you", then you don't deserve the reward. I have been reading a book by Ron Clark about classroom management and one of his rules is you must always say please and thank you. I think that is great. If you are given something you must say "thank you" or he would take it away. That teachs the students how to use manners in every situation. Also, you don't get what you ask for until you say please. Its that simple. Three, little, words can make a huge difference and they don't even take five seconds to say. Parents do not teach the simple things any more. What has caused this shift in parenting? There are great parents out there still, but they are scarce. It is great to see a kid that is well behaved, respectful and uses manners. I was walking out of the DMV a few months back and a boy, no older then twleve, held the door for me. I was in such awe that I almost for got to say thank you. I wanted to just stand there and see how long it took to wake up from the dream. It is terrifying to think that such a tiny gesture brought out so much inner emotion. I applaud the family for that young boy for teaching him manners and chivalry. Not beacuse I feel the need to be waited on but it is common curtosy to hold a door open, but is a rare occurance in this day and age. Where have all the children like that gone? When did it become cool to be the jerk and disrespectful?
I have had discussions with several friends about how they were raised. The ones that have a good head on their shoulders and know the rights from the wrong and know what boundaries are, were disciplined. The others, who were merely scolded, they are not aware of reality and life principles. There is a major separation between those who grew up with a highly disciplined family and those who didn't. Neither of which are better than the other if carried out properly. Some people learn rights and wrongs through verbal action, and others need something more tangible to understand.
"Some people's children". What kind of child do you see when that phrase is uttered? Is it your child? Is it someone else's child that you know? Was it you...? OR is it still you? If you answered "yes"to the latter, you would be correct. Not all of us have been raised where every single one of our actions are approved by others. To them we were raised incorrectly, but does that mean we were? Or is there truly a way that is the right and wrong way to parent?
I know I am going back and forth with the idea of proper parenting from my introducton, but like I said, does that mean what I grew up was the right way. For me, yes. Others probably couldn't handle it. I do believe there is a wrong way to parent but there will never be one flawless way of parenting. I must also make a note to those who grew up with multiple parenting styles, as well. These are the children who, first, have parents that do not agree on a parenting style so are torn between the caregivers, or second, parents are divorced and re-married so the step-guardian introduces a new breed of conduct into the household. We are all exposed to different envirnments growing up which creates different perspectives on what we believe to be right and wrong. When you walk around today, look around you. What do you see people doing? What do you see kids doing? What are the parents doing? Reflect on what has brought you to where you are today. Are you the kind of person you want others to see. Are you the rude one or the respectable one? You should be able to look at yourself and say you like who you have become or have been brought up to be. If not then start raising yourself. I had to do some work on myself to be who I am. I make sure I use my manners and know that nothing is always gonig to go my way, so dont expect it or throw a fit if it isnt your way. None of us are perfect and neither are our parents, but it never hurts to try and be the perfect person you want to be.
~The Magic Words will be the start of true bliss!
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