"Some People's Children"

This blog entry is inspired by some recent news of a close family friend of mine. Their eldest child had their phone stolen at school. The cop at the school along with videos cameras around the school leads the authorities to one student but doesn't have enough evidence to convict them. A comment I heard about this report was "Some people's children". Isn't that the truth!? I hear that a lot now a days and always wonder, what goes through these parents head to think that it is acceptable for their children to act like that? It was never OK, is not OK now and should never be justified as OK. I'm not only talking about stealing but poor behavior in general. There is a lack of quality parenting in our society, and needs to change before we have more children growing up thinking it is permitable to steal, cheat, be violent, and execute other behaviors that are corrupting the children of following generations. My generation could have engaged enough in this demeanor, too, that creates a direct affect on those to come and those before us. I see people my age who act like five year old who think it is still adequate to conduct this sort of routine, because their parents still treat them like kids and don't have discipline. That is unacceptable in my book.

You might disagree with some parenting skills but some are just needed to raise a child properly. Discipline is the first step. I'm not saying hitting your kid is justifiable, but if they act up, an open hand to the bottom with reasonable force is appropriate. I was spanked plenty in my childhood and trust me, I deserved almost every bit of it. Now I feel like I have learned lessons through disciplined and know when behaviors are welcome and others are not. Stealing, lying or cheating are the the top three I have been taught as inappropriate no matter where or when. Manners are also a prime commodity in my book. If you don't have the common courtesy to say "please" and "thank you", then you don't deserve the reward. I have been reading a book by Ron Clark about classroom management and one of his rules is you must always say please and thank you. I think that is great. If you are given something you must say "thank you" or he would take it away. That teachs the students how to use manners in every situation. Also, you don't get what you ask for until you say please. Its that simple. Three, little, words can make a huge difference and they don't even take five seconds to say. Parents do not teach the simple things any more. What has caused this shift in parenting? There are great parents out there still, but they are scarce. It is great to see a kid that is well behaved, respectful and uses manners. I was walking out of the DMV a few months back and a boy, no older then twleve, held the door for me. I was in such awe that I almost for got to say thank you. I wanted to just stand there and see how long it took to wake up from the dream. It is terrifying to think that such a tiny gesture brought out so much inner emotion. I applaud the family for that young boy for teaching him manners and chivalry. Not beacuse I feel the need to be waited on but it is common curtosy to hold a door open, but is a rare occurance in this day and age. Where have all the children like that gone? When did it become cool to be the jerk and disrespectful?

I have had discussions with several friends about how they were raised. The ones that have a good head on their shoulders and know the rights from the wrong and know what boundaries are, were disciplined. The others, who were merely scolded, they are not aware of reality and life principles. There is a major separation between those who grew up with a highly disciplined family and those who didn't. Neither of which are better than the other if carried out properly. Some people learn rights and wrongs through verbal action, and others need something more tangible to understand.

"Some people's children". What kind of child do you see when that phrase is uttered? Is it your child? Is it someone else's child that you know? Was it you...? OR is it still you? If you answered "yes"to the latter, you would be correct. Not all of us have been raised where every single one of our actions are approved by others. To them we were raised incorrectly, but does that mean we were? Or is there truly a way that is the right and wrong way to parent?

I know I am going back and forth with the idea of proper parenting from my introducton, but like I said, does that mean what I grew up was the right way. For me, yes. Others probably couldn't handle it. I do believe there is a wrong way to parent but there will never be one flawless way of parenting. I must also make a note to those who grew up with multiple parenting styles, as well. These are the children who, first, have parents that do not agree on a parenting style so are torn between the caregivers, or second, parents are divorced and re-married so the step-guardian introduces a new breed of conduct into the household. We are all exposed to different envirnments growing up which creates different perspectives on what we believe to be right and wrong. When you walk around today, look around you. What do you see people doing? What do you see kids doing? What are the parents doing? Reflect on what has brought you to where you are today. Are you the kind of person you want others to see. Are you the rude one or the respectable one? You should be able to look at yourself and say you like who you have become or have been brought up to be. If not then start raising yourself. I had to do some work on myself to be who I am. I make sure I use my manners and know that nothing is always gonig to go my way, so dont expect it or throw a fit if it isnt your way. None of us are perfect and neither are our parents, but it never hurts to try and be the perfect person you want to be.

~The Magic Words will be the start of true bliss!